So concerned about what could be a "best possible" first topic to dwell upon here, I was almost forgetting the most simple features of human life. The basics. Last week I was called to attend a funeral ceremony. Perhaps it's better start with the spikey topics to not work them later when things are cheerful and progressing nicely. I apologize to all who expected something not so heavy, maybe of better taste. Writers blockage can be a trouble many a time.
The ceremony I took part happened on an Ecumenic Cemetery, or if, not held by any specific religious association. That's why I just Don't know if the deceased's family is religious at all. Certainly this subject will be seen here later on, just remarking how fine I found such arrengements inclusive to everyone. It means they dispose of chapels for one's last rites. Such as in the U.S.A. those rites are celebrated in a rent room of a funerary house, not necessarily inside a cemetery, not necessarily kept by a religious association. This way, the families can use the local burial services or not, and call a priest from their choice (or not, I suppose. Never witnessed personally a ceremony without officiants).
In early times, when Brazil was a colony, the dead were attended in their homes, and the corpse was deposited, inside the coffin, over the family dinner table. In many places around the world this custom is maintained, but nowadays here it's considered too morbid for the household and chapels are prefeerable. When this custom was kept, though, the dead was watched by all community during the first night after passing, so today the rite is still called a vigil even not happening by night time. During the vigil, evidently, a good deal of light candles was needed, and this also remains today, for we call a funeral "velório" (something like "lots of candles" candle = vela in portuguese).
In a Brazilian velório, no candles are used anymore, but electric torches imitating the head candles for the left and right sides of the corpse's head. The chairs around the chapel walls are destined to elders and must not be touched by young people, who keep standing all the time. Differently from many parts of the world including, as far as I know, the U.S.A., Europe and Japan, no meals are served during the velório, instead, the family brings a load of toasties, shortcakes, biscuits and stuff like those, individually packaged, and the chapel staff keeps a decorated basket to hold these items. Water, tea and coffee are also a courtesy. The attendants serve themlseves without asking permission and eat at the sidewalk by the doors. The room's curtains are kept solemnly closed all the time, and a plain cross or crucifix is a permanent decoration of the wall just upwards the coffin's head. Siding it are usually placed flower crowns, specifically designed for funerals. They have an unmistakable shape and are offered (it means, payed) by the closest family's members coworkers and school classmates. They are heavy and heavily smelly too, crafted with white and yellow chrysanths, flower here associated to death and funerals - and not for a very spiritual explanation. I'll have to research later why chrysanths are always used. White roses, lillies and carnations are usual too, but it's not a general opinion they resemble death.
Loud voice wailing mourn is naturally tolerated but not desirable, and scandalous mourners are hastily comforted with hugs and soft voice encouraging. In the colonial times, a large party of mourners was considered a symbol of status or esteem in he community. Today it's considered extreme bad taste to measure one's influence by how afluent are his funeral attendants. Wearing full mourn suit is also considered bad taste nowadays, for it's dreadful. Even Half-mourn is not necessary. People go to funerals wearing sport-casual including white linen in summertime, and only elder men keep wearing full suit costumes. Bringing rosaries or other religious apparatus are not demanded from the guests, either. A very last important observation is about... observe. The attendants must remain only a very brief time standing aside the coffin. Watching the corpse is very offensive because it's regarded as sick-minded; undesirable curiosity, not pious at all. The corpses are prepared in the funerary house, washed, dressed and made-up, and most of times the coffin is kept open. Touching the corpse is not forbidden and seen as a caress and respect sign, but in strict confidence. Disarranging the corpse would be seen as very hazardous, a total disaster. The act of touching a corpse is not anymore considered repugnant in our society.
The ceremony I took part happened on an Ecumenic Cemetery, or if, not held by any specific religious association. That's why I just Don't know if the deceased's family is religious at all. Certainly this subject will be seen here later on, just remarking how fine I found such arrengements inclusive to everyone. It means they dispose of chapels for one's last rites. Such as in the U.S.A. those rites are celebrated in a rent room of a funerary house, not necessarily inside a cemetery, not necessarily kept by a religious association. This way, the families can use the local burial services or not, and call a priest from their choice (or not, I suppose. Never witnessed personally a ceremony without officiants).
In early times, when Brazil was a colony, the dead were attended in their homes, and the corpse was deposited, inside the coffin, over the family dinner table. In many places around the world this custom is maintained, but nowadays here it's considered too morbid for the household and chapels are prefeerable. When this custom was kept, though, the dead was watched by all community during the first night after passing, so today the rite is still called a vigil even not happening by night time. During the vigil, evidently, a good deal of light candles was needed, and this also remains today, for we call a funeral "velório" (something like "lots of candles" candle = vela in portuguese).
In a Brazilian velório, no candles are used anymore, but electric torches imitating the head candles for the left and right sides of the corpse's head. The chairs around the chapel walls are destined to elders and must not be touched by young people, who keep standing all the time. Differently from many parts of the world including, as far as I know, the U.S.A., Europe and Japan, no meals are served during the velório, instead, the family brings a load of toasties, shortcakes, biscuits and stuff like those, individually packaged, and the chapel staff keeps a decorated basket to hold these items. Water, tea and coffee are also a courtesy. The attendants serve themlseves without asking permission and eat at the sidewalk by the doors. The room's curtains are kept solemnly closed all the time, and a plain cross or crucifix is a permanent decoration of the wall just upwards the coffin's head. Siding it are usually placed flower crowns, specifically designed for funerals. They have an unmistakable shape and are offered (it means, payed) by the closest family's members coworkers and school classmates. They are heavy and heavily smelly too, crafted with white and yellow chrysanths, flower here associated to death and funerals - and not for a very spiritual explanation. I'll have to research later why chrysanths are always used. White roses, lillies and carnations are usual too, but it's not a general opinion they resemble death.
Loud voice wailing mourn is naturally tolerated but not desirable, and scandalous mourners are hastily comforted with hugs and soft voice encouraging. In the colonial times, a large party of mourners was considered a symbol of status or esteem in he community. Today it's considered extreme bad taste to measure one's influence by how afluent are his funeral attendants. Wearing full mourn suit is also considered bad taste nowadays, for it's dreadful. Even Half-mourn is not necessary. People go to funerals wearing sport-casual including white linen in summertime, and only elder men keep wearing full suit costumes. Bringing rosaries or other religious apparatus are not demanded from the guests, either. A very last important observation is about... observe. The attendants must remain only a very brief time standing aside the coffin. Watching the corpse is very offensive because it's regarded as sick-minded; undesirable curiosity, not pious at all. The corpses are prepared in the funerary house, washed, dressed and made-up, and most of times the coffin is kept open. Touching the corpse is not forbidden and seen as a caress and respect sign, but in strict confidence. Disarranging the corpse would be seen as very hazardous, a total disaster. The act of touching a corpse is not anymore considered repugnant in our society.
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